Category Archives: Audio and Video

There will be Flowers! ADHD and the New Year

Welcome to 2020.

Once again, the New Year has come and gone without any action on my part to name any “resolutions”. My ideas for goals are still rolling around in my brain with no specific starting date, commitment, or accountability. I’ve decided that’s okay with me.

I saw a cartoon last week with two characters talking. The first asks, “Why do you think that 2020 will be better? The second answers, “There will be flowers.” The first retorts, “There are always flowers. What makes this year any different? Looking over the other’s shoulder, he then asks, “What’s that you are doing? Our optimistic fellow simply answers, “I’m planting flowers.” And therein lies my both my dilemma and my hope.

Imagining how the “flowers” or goals for my life might look like is just the first choice. They need to be something I can get excited about, invested in SO MUCH that I will not have to depend on “shoulds” or shame to create a PLAN for positive action. For now, my hope sustains me.

There will be flowers! (Flowers to be named later.)

I’m taking my own advice again this month. Better late than never. Moving towards those yet unnamed resolutions, I look to my best tools for success in the past, using small and sustainable actions to create habits and build routines that move me forward. As Darius Foroux says in “Stop Trying to do Everything ”, “Success is sequential, not simultaneous.”

“Things add up. You learn one skill. Then another. You finish one project. Then another. Over time, your accomplishments add up to form an impressive feat.”

Continue newsletter here>>>

Once I identify those “things”, that are creating problems in my life, I can try out small changes, usually by linking them to already established habits. When they work, they will eventually create routines to make larger changes a reality. My reward comes as each day goes a little smoother and I begin to string a series of successes behind me.

It’s not just getting things done that matter. Many of us fail to meet such basic needs as eating, sleeping, or resting. Your brain is already hampered in its ability to perform the necessary executive functions of the brain, those skills whose development is delayed – that give us the ability to coordinate actions needed to effect positive change for the future. The ADHD brain struggles with the ability to plan, keep items in working memory, move past procrastination, overcome overwhelm, or succumb to perfectionism. We rush towards productivity without the self-care we need to sustain progress.

I recommend 16 Steps to Better Self-esteem with ADHD by Kari Hogan for an easy to understand process to help you meet your basic needs and progress towards feeling whole and successful. ADDitude Magazine just put out an article by Michelle Novotni with more specific “ADHD Hacks” that can be helpful when “tweaked” to work for you.” My 25 Rules for Life: A Practical Cure for ADHD Shame and Stagnation.

“Think of ADHD as a marathon, not a sprint”, she says. “To be a successful marathon runner, you have to conserve your energy, pick your battles, and pace yourself. You have to plan for the long haul.”
Her first tips include:
1. “Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection. As long as you’re making progress toward your goals, I encourage you to consider your efforts a win. Be kind to yourself.
2. Value the Power of Praise. Praise is a way of sharing love and building self-esteem
3. Quiet the (Inner) Critic.”

Like anyone, and especially if you are a child or adult with ADHD, we need to feel loved and accepted before we can keep our feelings under control and move forward towards our goals. This control is also known as self-regulation. Children need acceptance from their parents and adults that guide them, but so do grown men and women. Adults may need to “re-parent” the wounded part of themselves – to connect with and work on accepting that inner child who bears the scars of being misunderstood and misjudged in childhood.

To help you with this, Leo Babauta of Zen Habits wrote about the art of Unconditional Acceptance of Yourself. He writes:

“What if we applied unconditional acceptance of who we are? He says. “What if we took a good look at ourselves, our body, our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, and said, “You are perfectly OK. You are perfectly good”?

“What if instead, you loved yourself, fat body and all? What if you loved yourself, laziness and all? What if you loved yourself, all that is ugly and incompetent and mean, along with the beauty and brilliance and kindness?”

Acceptance isn’t stagnation — you will change no matter what. You can’t avoid changing. The question is whether that change comes from a place of acceptance and love, or a place of self-dislike and dissatisfaction. I vote for unconditional love.”

Coming from a place of love, you can work towards better within your own values and interests. The more you can put boring, mundane, or difficult duties on automatic, the less time you have to spend trying to manage the most damaging aspects of ADHD. You can live and work more “in the flow”, using the way the ADHD brain is motivated, not by importance but by interest, challenge, and deadlines, and in ways that match your most treasured values in life.

Your routines provide the structure to do what you “need to do” but are not necessarily inspired or motivated to do. Habits and routines help you get to what you WANT to do by handling those necessities of life that may not even be on your radar otherwise. Your routines should not look like anyone else’s. They should reflect your own values, your own minimum standards of “good enough”, and the ease of following the steps necessary to complete the routine.

For instance, I hated cleaning the bathroom, but having a clean sink with polished chrome is something that is important for me. I started using the toilet paper method of cleaning the bathroom. Now, every time I use the restroom, I grab some tissue, clean up the sink, spot clean the counter top and polish the chrome. When I see hairs on the floor or in the tub, I scoop them up. If these areas look fine, I’ll take a minute to address the toilet, getting dust and hair off the seat and tank top and doing the floor around the toilet too. Same for the tub and floor, spot clean and wipe up hairs.

By doing these small tasks throughout the day, I seldom have to deep-clean. Even the tub and shower are easy. I have a soft toilet bowl brush that looks like a mop. I just spray Awesome cleanser with bleach that I get from the dollar store, wait a minute and wipe down with the “mop”. I don’t even have to get on my hands and knees.

Honestly, how many of you now feel that the toilet paper method the best way to keep YOUR bathroom clean? But it works for me. And that what is important.

You will need to develop your own habits and rules. Ask yourself, what is the “least thing that I can do” that will move me towards my goals or projects. If you have a busy work and home life, I love the Next Action List planner by Learn, Do, Become: Printable and podcast with directions. For a less –structured planner, you can download a weekly planner from Emily Ley. Choose the Simplified Weekly Planner. Use 2 pages to make up a week – Just split the bottom sections of the second sheet for Saturday and Sunday. You can also find a daily planning sheet among her other printables.

For those of you collecting more “hacks”, I wrote about more resources for planning and household tips that I’ve used with success in this newsletter, “Manage your Life, House, and Home with ADHD.” See these 9 tips to build routines. A good starter article would be The Quick Start Guide to a Decluttered Home that Leo Babauta has so generously shared.

For hundreds of extra ideas, I also have three Pinterest pages, House, Home, and ADHD, Habits, Routines, and Systems for ADHD, and Basic Self-care for ADHD.

Through all my years, my biggest struggle remains learning to accept and value myself just as I am. I am sure that I am not alone in this.  Writing these newsletters, long posts full of resources to explore has never been easy for me nor really very popular,  but ADHD advocacy is what gets me up in the morning and collecting information, sharing, and offering support is what I do best. Turns out there’s even a name for it. Curation. Google definition: cu·ra·tion – /kyəˈrāSHən/ – the selection, organization, and presentation of online content, merchandise, information, etc., typically using professional or expert knowledge.

I was recently inspired by the lyrics to a simple song from the movie A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. I’ve also included a video of the more well-known song “It’s You I Like” that includes Mr. Rogers’ conversation with his guest Jeffery Earlinger.

I Like You as You Are
Lyrics by Josie Carey | Music by Fred Rogers

I like you as you are
Exactly and precisely
I think you turned out nicely
And I like you as you are
I like you as you are
Without a doubt or question
Or even a suggestion
Cause I like you as you are
I like your disposition
Your facial composition
And with your kind permission
I’ll shout it to a star
I like you as you are
I wouldn’t want to change you
Or even rearrange you
Not by far
I like you
I-L-I-K-E-Y-O-U
I like you, yes I do
I like you, Y-O-U
I like you, like you as you are

It’s You I Like (7-minutes)

Until next month,

With hope, but no hurry, for the new year.
Take care,

Joan Jager

Photo by Shelby Miller on Unsplash

Modified on Canva.com

Coming to Terms with ADHD

By ADHD coach Louise Brown

When my son and I were diagnosed with ADHD a few years back, I really struggled to cope. I found myself overwhelmed with personal grief, as well as fearful for Jack’s future.

Once I started to show myself compassion and understanding, I was able to pick up the pieces and day by day things started to get better.

I wrote this as a guest post a few years ago. I’m sharing it again for others who are going through a similar experience. I hope it helps.

 

I have been struggling with overwhelming grief since finding out my son and I have ADHD. So much so, I have found it difficult to eat well, exercise and get enough sleep. I have withdrawn from friends and avoided too much social contact. I have not been motivated to put any effort into my life coaching business, which is now affecting my livelihood. I have even felt the black cloud encroaching above me.

The awareness of how this disorder has negatively affected my life has been devastating. Knowing your brain does not work as it should and your executive functions and working memory are poor really hurts. The realization that ADHD is the reason you have struggled to fit in and communicate well (when this is something you highly value) is distressing. Discovering that people with ADHD often put themselves at risk, are often victims of trauma, have difficulty keeping their life in order, and don’t achieve their full potential is deeply upsetting.

This is complicated by the painful loss that comes from understanding that things could have been different if you had just received the right care and support. (Thank goodness, my son now has everything he needs to navigate this journey successfully in place and is responding positively to the interventions).

Yes, gaining insight that things can be different and that you can slowly develop the skills required to support your challenges is very positive and offers hope for the future (we all need that). However, knowing the journey will be like a person with a tremor trying to learn to be a neuro-surgeon makes it feel all too hard and a bit hopeless.

But I am a fighter. Even the ADHD psychologist I have started seeing has picked up on this. I do not want to stay stuck in this grief no matter how hard the journey is, nor will I let the black cloud take residence. I value myself and my family too much to let that happen.

So today I have decided it is time to move forward and to pick up the pieces no matter how hard. I have decided not to regret that I did not know I had ADHD or that I did not receive the care and support I required. Nor will I regret my past lack of insight, the social mistakes I made, or the behaviors I resorted to in order to deal with the adversity this disorder has contributed to in my life (including my past binge eating, excessive drinking or chain-smoking). And I’m not going to regret any of the ways I self-destructed, put myself at risk, abused my body or caused myself pain.

Instead, I have decided to show myself enormous compassion – for my lost younger “Self” was just doing the best she could with the knowledge, understanding, and awareness she had and didn’t know a better way. Despite being diagnosed as hyperactive as a child, she did not know she had adult ADHD, nor did she receive the care and support offered to young people diagnosed with the disorder these days.

Not only do I forgive her for not knowing, but I also applaud her for recognizing that things could be different when her life was in tatters all those years ago.  For being willing and determined to pick up the pieces and turn her life around.

There were so many lessons embedded in those painful experiences and in this current one as well. They are ALL part of the rich tapestry that is my life, which continues to unfold before me as I learn and grow each day. For with each life experience I become stronger, more resilient and more empowered than before.

It’s time to start setting small goals and to put in place strategies to learn to manage and live effectively with ADHD, including the skills that I did not develop naturally as a child. To access all the resources offered to me since this diagnosis, and to ask for help when I need it. To start taking better care of my mind, body, and soul again one step at a time.

If you have come unstuck somewhere on your health and happiness journey I hope you will join me in deciding it is time to move forward and to take care of ourselves again. Even if you can set just one goal this week that you can achieve, it is a start. You are not alone. Slowly but surely, we will get there.

 

Reposted with permission from the author, Lou Brown, an ADHD coach from Perth in Western Australia. Original source.  She “believes we can all thrive, live a positive and fulfilling life, and achieve our dreams. By understanding ADHD and how it shows up in our lives, we can truly accept ourselves and our diagnosis, become our own best friend, embrace our strengths and learn to manage our challenges.”

Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash – Modified on Canva.com

 

 

 

ADD FreeSources enews: Understand what Ignites your Energy

Focus on what ignites your heart and your positive energy.August 2018 Newsletter

To View on Mobile>>>

Focus on what ignites your heart and your positive energy.

“When you focus on what ignites your heart and your positive energy, you will always be able to self-regulate.” ~ David Giwerc

 

 

Welcome to mid-summer,

The heat has driven me out of my attic office. I’m trying to work standing up in the kitchen or sitting on the bed with my “lap” top because I have no clear table space. (Disclaimer: Most of it is my husband’s stuff, but my printer and other computer hardware sit right in the middle of the desk.)

I miss my quiet hideaway with my own workspace.  I want to get outside, find some shade and a breeze and loaf the day away, preferably with a good book. In short, I want to do anything but put together a newsletter. But I have some great articles to share and my sister has signed up for the newsletter. Now, THAT’S incentive.

We’re lucky to have two powerful articles from LuAnn Pierce, LCSW.this month.  Adult ADHD: Soft Signs and Related Issues covers less well-known signs and symptoms that signal ADHD. ADHD Success at College and Work. helps us understand how ADHD presents in adults as well as the environments where ADHD symptoms flourish and how it can be controlled. LuAnn caps it all off with a number of great strategies for adults with ADHD.

The ADHD Kids Page can keep your kids entertained this summer and we have four articles you may not have seen before to help prepare for back to school.

We also have two interesting videos appropriate for both children AND adults – Dare to Dream and The Learning Brain.

Upcoming Events you may be interested in:

 

To fill in the bare bones of this enews,  Finish the newsletter here>>> 

 

That’s enough for now.  Enjoy the last days of summer and stay cool.

Joan Jager

ADD freeSources.net

Visit us on Facebook or Pinterest!

Photo created on Canva.com

 

 

 

Privacy Policy

ADD freeSources Privacy Policy

This privacy policy applies solely to information collected by this website (https://addfreesources.net) and discloses the following:

  1. What personally identifiable information is collected from you through the website, how it is used, and with whom it may be shared.
  2. What choices are available to you regarding the use of your data.
  3. The security procedures in place to protect the misuse of your information.
  4. How you can correct any inaccuracies in the information.

 

Information Collection, Use, and Sharing

We only have access to, and collect, information that you voluntarily give us via email or another direct contact from you. (Name, email address, and the date you subscribed)

We will not sell, rent, or share this information with anyone else for any reason.

We will use your information to respond to you regarding the reason you contacted us.

Unless you ask us not to, we may contact you via email in the future to tell you about specials, new products or services, or changes to this privacy policy.

Your Access to, and Control Over, Information

You may opt out of future contact from us at any time.

Each ADD freeSources newsletter contains links at the bottom for unsubscribing.

You can do the following at any time by contacting us via the website, by email, or by calling 253-472-8929

  • See what data we have about you if any.
  • Change/correct any data we have about you.
  • Have us delete any data we have about you.
  • Express any concern you have about our use of your data.

 

Security
We take precautions to protect your information.

When you submit personal information via the website, it is protected both online and offline.

We never collect credit card data. If we ever sell a product, all PayPal transactions will be secure.

If you feel that we are not abiding by this privacy policy, you should contact us immediately via the website, by email, or by calling 253-472-8929.

 

Joan Riley Jager

 

 

May Newsletter: Recovery after ADHD Strikes Again!

Recover emotionally and get back on track after an “ADHD attack.”May Newsletter: Week 2 and 3

ADHD Strikes Again! Recovery

 

Welcome back readers,

I hope your week has gone better than mine. I have been overwhelmed with the logistics of the changes for how I’m putting out our newsletter now. No matter how hard I tried to work out the technical issues, I was just winding myself up into an emotional paralysis. I have to admit in all the confusion of my frustration, I neglected to utilize my coping strategies! You know in that ‘all too familiar way’ that ADHD may “strike” at the most inconvenient times.

Hopefully, the difficulties with my delivery system for the newsletter have, finally, been resolved. My apologies to those of you that received repeating copies of our last newsletter. As well as, to those of you who may not have, even, received a copy!

Please click through here to enjoy this week’s newsletter.

You will find:

  • A short video on EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION
  • Tips on the value of a good apology and recovering when everything goes wrong
  • And we can thank Brandon Butler for an article about the value of dogs for people with mental disorders.

Please, please if you continue to have any trouble with the delivery of the newsletter, do let me know on the Contact Page by simply entering “Repeating“.

Thank you for your patience through these trial-and-tribulations and your assistance if there are continuing issues!

Read the rest of ADHD Strikes Again: Recovery here.

 

Thank you so much,

Joan Jager

ADD freeSources 

For additional help and for more information about ADHD, please visit our Pinterest or Facebook page . (You can also find fifty Pinterest boards on my Facebook page. Look on the left-hand menu)

 

(My thanks to Dianne Dickinson for her recommendations and help with editing.  I couldn’t have done it without her.

May Newsletter: ADHD Strikes Again

Recover emotionally and get back on track after an “ADHD attack.”May Newsletter: Week 2 and 3

ADHD Strikes Again! Recovery

 

Welcome back readers,

I hope your week has gone better than mine. I have been overwhelmed with the logistics of the changes for how I’m putting out our newsletter now. No matter how hard I tried to work out the technical issues, I was just winding myself up into an emotional paralysis. I have to admit in all the confusion of my frustration, I neglected to utilize my coping strategies! You know in that ‘all too familiar way’ that ADHD may “strike” at the most inconvenient times.

Hopefully, the difficulties with my delivery system for the newsletter have, finally, been resolved. My apologies to those of you that received repeating copies of our last newsletter. As well as, to those of you who may not have, even, received a copy!

Please click through here to enjoy this week’s newsletter.

You will find:

  • A short video on EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION
  • Tips on the value of a good apology and recovering when everything goes wrong
  • And we can thank Brandon Butler for an article about the value of dogs for people with mental disorders.

Please, please if you continue to have any trouble with the delivery of the newsletter, do let me know on the Contact Page by simply entering “Repeating“.

Thank you for your patience through these trial-and-tribulations and your assistance if there are continuing issues!

Read the rest of ADHD Strikes Again: Recovery here.

 

Thank you so much,

Joan Jager

ADD freeSources 

For additional help and for more information about ADHD, please visit our Pinterest or Facebook page . (You can also find fifty Pinterest boards on my Facebook page. Look on the left-hand menu)

 

(My thanks to Dianne Dickinson for her recommendations and help with editing.  I couldn’t have done it without her.)

Photo by Erik Eastman on Unsplash – Modified on Canva.com

Too many emails? My apologies.

Dear readers,

I’ve got a glitch in my email program. It can’t handle the number of subscribers I’ve somehow collected. Has only sent half of them of them. Obviously multiple times. I’m afraid that even this apology will get stuck in the same loop. I don’t know how to solve the problem short of using a new system. I’ve been trying another email provider all day but without success.

Hope you don’t keep your phone near the bed with the notifications on. The friend who told me about the problem says she’s been woken up in the early morning twice already.

Crossing my fingers that this email reaches you. (Just once and before bedtime.)

Joan Jager

ADD freeSources.net

Photo by Nathaniel Shuman on Unsplash 

Modified on Canva.com

Getting too many emails? I’m so sorry.

Dear readers,

I’ve got a glitch in my email program. It can’t handle the number of subscribers I’ve somehow collected. Has sent about half of them. Obviously multiple times. I’m afraid that even my apology would get stuck in the same loop. I don’t know how to solve the problem short of using a new system. I’ll try another email provider and see how that works.

My apologies. Hope you don’t keep your phone notifications on while you sleep. The friend who told me about the problem is sick of getting woken up at 3:48 am.

Joan Jager

ADD freeSources.net

Photo by Nathaniel Shuman on Unsplash

ADHD in the Family: Newsletter

ADHD affects everyone in the family. Here’s helpFebruary 2018 Newsletter

ADHD in the Family: Peace, Love, and Understanding

 

Welcome to February,

In the Northwest, we’ve been luckier than others around the country this winter.  Although it’s been wet, our mild winter is already yielding to spring.  I’m already enjoying the hours of light lengthen each day and watching crocuses and other early bulbs emerge. Hope good weather arrives soon for you as well.

ADHD impacts everyone in the Family.  Understanding the complexity of ADHD and developing strategies for your home and personal life are important steps to coming to accept and deal with challenges. This month, I have a mix of articles for both parents and adults. The first celebrates keeping peace in the family and love alive in your relationship.  Next is an extensive article I’ve been working on detailing the new perspectives on ADHD.  If you prefer videos to reading, I’ve included a few short ones further expand on the topic. The final articles offer ideas you can tailor to fit your own needs, like using music to keep on task and decluttering your home and/or office. Hope you find some “treasures” this month.

 

How I Fixed my ADHD Husband by ADHD coach Linda Walker

“What I found most frustrating is that I thought I had no control over anything.” “Once I learned that there were some things I could do to make life with ADHD better for all of us, the building process began and the frustration diminished.” (Note: Duane Gordon is the current President of ADHD for Adults) ADD.org  

ADHD Grows Up:

New Perspectives on ADHD  by Joan Jager

Attention problems, Hyperactivity and Distraction symptoms for diagnosis in childhood are just the tip of the iceberg. Many aspects of ADHD, especially in adults, are now better defined as developmentally delayed Executive functions and poor emotional control. Coexisting conditions or comorbidities further compound the issue. This realization has been slowly changing how we understand ADHD and its expression throughout the lifespan(Includes a number of videos for further information. )

The Benefits of Music Therapy for Kids with ADHD by Charles Carpenter

Music helps with many challenges of kids with ADHD. Studying music can teach listening skills, patience and the ability to pick up on cues. Music can not only get one’s brain moving, but it also helps with psychical coordination.

18-5-minute Decluttering Tips to Start Conquering your Mess8 Five-Minute Decluttering Tips to Start Conquering your Mess by Leo Babauta

Out of clutter comes simplicity.  Baby steps are important. Start with just five minutes. Sure, five minutes will barely make a dent in your mountain, but it’s a start. Celebrate!

 

Take care of yourself and each other,

Joan Jager

ADD freeSources.net  – On Pinterest and Facebook

 

Photo credits:

Newsletter Title: (Photo courtesy of pakorn/FreeDigitalPhoto Facebook) Modified on Canva  http://canva.com

Crocuses (Photo courtesy of kookai_nak/FreeDigitalPhoto.net)

How I Fixed my Husband (Linda Walker with her husband Duane Gordon from coachlindawalker.com) Modified on Canva

ADHD Grows Up (Photo downloaded from Facebook – Credit unknown)

Music Theory for Kids with ADHD (Photo courtesy of Debspoon/FreeDigitalPhoto.net)

18 Five-Minute De-cluttering Tips (Photo by Idea go/FreeDigitalPhoto.net)